I’ve been so preoccupied lately with so many things on the go. I just made some changes to Authentically Me, It is now an addiction recovery community group, I’m also in the process of starting a Coffee Time Connection morning conversations, that will happen every Tuesday at 11 am in our Facebook Community Group, we will be focusing on healing the wounds of addiction, also identifying patterns and beliefs in order to support families who are controlled by addiction through an adult child still battling addiction. The focus is to support families in the recovery process in order to free themselves from addiction.
Chapter 1: Evolution | The SEAT of the SOUL 25th Anniversary Edition
— Read on seatofthesoul.com/sg/sg1/
When I started my journey into addiction, I did so at a very young age, it was one of curiosity. Both my parents were alcoholics and so were both my grandparents. I would enter into addiction thinking everyone lived this way, to later find out that was far from the truth. My parents inability to manage life, left me lacking that inability too. It also became apparent later, when I was to have children of my own. I would discover an inability to show affection, as a child I viewed many forms of emotion, affection was not one of them. Drama and disfunction became our way of life. Unaware of the aftermath of addiction, I was to become a free agent in a world I knew nothing about. Leaving home at 16 and having experienced the effects addiction has on a family, I was to enter a life filled with abuse and turmoil, bound to repeat a pattern I knew, all to well. Realizing, I had no safety net to fall back on. I would slowly retreat into a life of familiarity. Addiction was my life experience and it had taken me to many places, treatment centres and mental institutions, causing my first suicide attempt at the ripe old age of 21, I had entered into a dark place, one of desperation and emptiness. To find recovery, or did recovery find me. I had discovered the meaning of life, buried within the pain of grief and loss. It was there, where life is celebrated. In each moment, no more important than the next, that you see the beauty, when life draws its final breath. The importance one life has on another, was to send me on a journey to self discovery, one I’d like to call, from me, with love.
We bare witness to our beliefs everyday. It’s in the words we speak, the deeds we perform on a regular basis. It’s in the way we choose to live, the friends we have, the foods we eat, everything we do is surrounded by these beliefs. If you take one away you would have to replace it with another or you would only revert back to your initial belief, each one was constructed in such a way that they are reinforced by others. It’s taken a lifespan to construct, so removing and replacing even one, requires work and dedication, it will never be a quick fix a band aid solution. This is a job where the rewards far exceeds the benefits.
Outside of my addiction I found that I am an optimist, I see the brighter side of life, always noticing the good in everything. Even when I’m having a bad day, I believe there’s something to be learned by it all. Know matter how cloudy the day the sun is shining somewhere. This attitude serves me well because no matter what I may be going through it’s always for the best. I say, give me this or better and it’s always better, it’s the law of attraction at it’s finest. As far as I’m concerned, nothing can be worst than one of my bad days using. When you look at your life in moments, there’s nothing you can’t handle when you remember to breathe, just breathe!
In today’s world individuals are becoming more and more self absorbed. They can’t find the time to listen. Having a conversation where you feel heard or validated is a rarity. People don’t feel their options matter, they don’t feel like they can make a difference. Between the hustle and bustle your slowly loosing sight of what really matters. When it’s been in front of you all a long, if only you took the time to listen. It’s in every person you walk by and never take the time to say hi, or every homeless person you pass by and never acknowledge. People reach out everyday hoping someone will listen. Let it be you that makes a difference!
The connections we make determine our success or our failures. We choose them based on our beliefs. For example, if we’re insecure and untrustworthy, our connections will be insecure and untrustworthy. We cannot secure positive traits from others unless we embody them ourselves. Based on this knowledge, in order for growth to exist you must first embody what you desire in others, and your connections will be drawn to you, your supports will either motivate or deflate. Choose them wisely.
When you find yourself in a toxic lifestyle, your reacting to everything around you, and everything you see and feel is negative. Therefore, your outlook on life, will reflect that. When you get clean and sober, you begin to view your life differently. You learn that life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you. We realize that we’re responsible for our lives, and we are in control of our choices. That realization, is powerful it changes your view of the world, and will empower you to make better choices. Information is power, when you know better, you do better, and we all benefit from that.
When you try to connect your beliefs to a pattern of behaviour that you exhibit, it can be difficult. For instance, if I believe that I’m not good enough, then I’m going to choose friends and loved ones who continue to allow me to support that belief. because it gives me the specific outcome, I’m looking for. That’s why, recovery is so difficult, it’s based on change, and change is uncomfortable. Needless to say, there are so many feelings wrapped up in those old beliefs, You built a life upon them. The problem with those beliefs, are they no longer serve you. Releasing them will provide you with the opportunity to enforce positive behaviour which will support growth and expansion.